Life was simpler when we could play a friendly game of red rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
This new paint color is cheap and easy to spread, just like you.
Mom always told me if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all…And some people wonder I’m so quiet around them.
Live your life by following this golden rule: Treat people exactly how you want to be treated
Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you. So we’re even.
I just knew we’d be friends forever from the moment I discovered that you also have no filter…
Naw I won’t be going out tonight. I’m on a new diet called “I have 10 dollars till Friday.”
If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail