When you’re trying to be cute, make sure it’s harvest time
If you want to give the gift of honesty, some will appreciate it, but not everyone will understand it. If you do, you’ve been there before too.
Talking about shooting white stuff out of your body isn’t the best way to start off your 60 seconds of speed dating, Spider-man. Get to the point and HULK SMASH DAT ASS
I’m okay with you being an animal in bed, but if you start sniffing my ass, we’re going to have a BIG problem
When boys play the guitar for you, make sure it’s Norwegian black metal. Otherwise, he probably doesn’t give a shit about you, especially if he doesn’t try to sacrifice you on the first date.
True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking, “I could smother them or make breakfast…Pancakes it is.”